And The Becoming

Sitting in a room full of people Smiling at faces known and unknown Hiding face and escaping glances Craving to disappear once more Always short of words to speak If only nothingness had a vocabulary No more searching of meanings No more exchange of thoughts No more validating the hypothesis No more reasoning the basics She was chained at her own will In a facility built much far away Her body battled with the necessities While her mind loitered in a full wave Away from the customary greetings And at much distance of false hopes No more pretense of performing No more arguing this existence No more accounting of vacuum No more articulating this emptiness

I am sitting in a corner of my room, hands around my folded legs. I feel tired and weary. The walls are closing up, and the room continues to shrink. I am not worried about the space to walk or move or lie. I haven’t slept or walked in a long time. I continue to sit like this, conscious of my existence clubbed with that thing. There is a snake in the room entwined on the curtain rod. It keeps staring at me from the top, and makes that ‘hiss-ing’ noise. Once it used to be my room, and I have slept here with eyes closed. But now I am disturbed with its presence. This snake has been here for long too. It was a gift from a traveler. I found it scary then also, but it was rubber snake then and kept lying in a corner. But the scales on it are really old; it doesn’t seem to be part of my décor any more. It was never welcomed here. It hasn’t bitten me so far, but nonetheless it threatens me all the time. It gives me those scary glances. I can’t sleep nor move; I am conscious of its presence ...

आज   समाँ   में   कुछ   नए   रंग   बिखरे   से   थे   हाथों   में   हिना   का   रंग   निखर   के   आया   था   रोम   रोम   गुनगुना   रहा   था   कह   रहा   था , ' यह   रात   फिर   ना   आएगी ' ' यह   हसींन   महफिल   फिर   यूँ   न   सजेगी   थोडा   गुरूर   था ,   थोड़ी   शरारत और   क्यों   न   हो ,   नथ   उतरने   कि   रस्म   जो   थी   आँखों   में   जन्नत   के   ख्वाब   थे   धड़कन   में   कुछ   कशिश ,   ज़ुबा   पर   ख़ामोशी   थी   और   दिल   में   किसी   के   आने   का   इंतज़ार   हर   तवायफ   कि   तरह   मुझे   भी   इश्क़   न   करने   कि   इदायत  दी   गयी   थ...