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Weary Nights

Legs are tired, and my body feels heavy. Every movement took, takes away a part of my remaining fuel. I feel drained and exhausted, and bed seems only solace. I don’t remember the last time I slept and for days I have been lying in this bed. There is no fan in the room, just a small window on the rear wall. The window panes are dark and I don’t see any reason for that. I feel wet in my own sweat. It has been two days and I still face the same wall. I can’t even see the whole of my room. And it is a small room. Not often I open my eyes, but when I do something seem to have changed. I get scared and shut my eyes again. Is there someone in the room? Is that person been here for long? Does that person keep a watch of all my moves? The more I think, the more I get scared and the more I resist opening my eyes again. It was just a while ago, a strange thought occur to me. I haven’t spoken in a week’s time or may be a month. It is hard to calculate as I can’t remember how long it has been since I arrived here. I feel the tongue in my mouth, but voice seems to have lost. There are ‘words’ for sure. These words arrange themselves in interesting ways to form sentences, and these sentences are often just questions. Meanings are far away from here. I am also tired of my thoughts and I fail to escape from them. I think my hiding in this room has not done any good. These thoughts continue to breed in my head. The more I try to ignore, the more persistent they get. These thoughts remind me I am alive and I exist only in this room. Only I would, if I could wish that this room does not exist anymore.    

In shrieking sleepless night
Scared eyes are shut tight
I don’t wish to be heard or seen
Even though all alone I sleep




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