And The Becoming

An idea with the most peculiar smell Has stuck to my head like never before The one which was easier to hold Didn’t turn out to be the easiest to let go It has shared space in my head I can’t even remember since when But it never fails to annoy me And still continues to stay and breed I have stayed in this body long enough Still at times I feel this sense of alienation And experience the restrictions posed to me As a price paid for taking refuge in it

It doesn’t need steel to pierce through your heart and rip it apart It doesn’t need reason to snatch your crumb and push you away I rinse soap on my skin hard to let go the colour I shower thrice each day not to smell of my deviance Difficult is not to be a black sheep among the whites But to pretend to be white when you know you are not

The untouched skin of the self Amazes me like the fluidity of existence The facade of knowing something Wonders at the idiocy I put out for sale The mask wore over the mask Reminds me eyes beneath never changed And the revelation of the truth Mocks at the wisdom which I just bought

I was not trying to build a castle either in the air or on a sea-shore. Still wind and wave challenged my efforts. I wasn't trying to either hide my gold or run away with someone else’s. Still I was being chased and hunted. I was in no mood to either sing or dance on your tune. Still you made me swirl and scream in a whirlpool. I was just trying to do what I want to do. But I was questioned for daring not to do what I am expected to do.

Sailing through the waves, in the fabric of imagination. Keeping my eyes wide open, in the cave dark and silent. Waking each morning, in the world so mundane. Still trying to mark my absence in this void full of nothingness.

I walked with pride on the road I shared with you, You gave me those glances that broke my backbone. I wonder how will I ever be able to take that road, The road that doesn't exist for me anymore.